Thursday, June 15, 2017

"Lack Thereof"

"Lack Thereof"

Lord knows
but I'm afraid to ask.
Recalling tasks I've vowed ...

that remain incomplete now.
Peeled from the mattress
reluctantly to my feet now.
My peace
but a piece I'm forced toward
to chase after
the waste
a taste
and long after procrastination.
Aggravation in my wiles
when my trials are self-manufactured.
Stints of joy and laughter
No more earned
than the bridges that burned
when I feigned concern.
I took my turn
and I'm still not finished?
Meant well but demolished.
Momentum diminished
and I can only hope to replenish
while praying that this is not my penance.

Lord knows
but he won't say.
Won't stay hinged to my wishes
when the business isn't handled.
Thought to channel it all
behind walls
Indian style
in consistent proclamation
that it may take a little while
The longer I've longed her
who says that I've wronged her
without ever exchanging words.
Hurtful things I've heard
about how men exist
as the stress that she insists
we've always given gleefully
to thee
but can't retort with
"That's not me"
for being told we're all the same.
Doubt you even know my name
but wherewithal
to tack on shame
has made diamond this plastic frame
and we can't even scratch the surface

Lord knows
and I implore
that he gives me something.
Anything to look toward.
Inquiry just as hard
of an undertaking
as the wait itself.
Taught never to question
but if life has its lessons
and I'm still missing answers,
I can't pander to the dogma.
I know what faith is evidence of.
I trust the above
to preserve the lower than
but I'm older than the teachings
and the motive
less misleading
and more melancholy
is probably hardly worth the call
because it's increasingly hard
to distinguish between
the want for some direction
or the need for an excuse
that makes sense of this dereliction
from that which demands my patience.

I can't just say
"Another Day"
like the time is for purchase.
Things to say but I'm nervous.
Way too close to the furnace
than I might have perceived.
Lost on what I believe.
Loss I frequently grieve
when what I've achieved
does not align with my aspirations
or the boastful proclamation of such
but sadly,
I can't say
and I won't rush
what will come my way.


Lord knows too much.

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz

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