"Distant Ties"

"Distant Ties"

Not looking for it close up.
Not missing it from far sight.
You hope that thoughts approach us.
I know that want. It's not right.

Years blown.
You would drive me crazy.
Said I was your baby.
I'm no longer your child.
Maybe
whatever is worth saving
of us might delay the
sting of when emotions ran wild.

Months gone.
Didn't need your saving.
I needed to save me
or I'd run low on time.
Staving
you off was a labor
that did me no favors.
You acknowledge no line.

Even so far away
I find it hard to say
what you hope I mean
so things seem better for you.
A taxing chore to
skirt around your emotions
while your intent was in motion
to have my ambition subdued.

You were crude and unrefined
with a broken filter.
Concealer amid the masses
until flinging trash served you.
Heard you.
They all did
and they all hid until
your fire and fury was quelled.

That just never served me well.

So you would bark and blow.
I would tell you no
then you'd threaten to go
and make it appear as though
I was so heartless of a son
that I'd kick you out.
A scream and shout
for whomever cared to listen.

"Girl, that's a shame."
"What happened to your children."

You hoped to justify me as your villain.

For what is worth revealing,
there is nothing appealing
about one who mongers rumors
for the humor of the inquisitive.
You plotted on division
long before you heard "I Do"
because you knew
right where your bed was made.
Would tell me
"Things were said"
when anger and convenience
sought to converge on some concept
you were sure was born of genius
means of malice and manipulation.

Bearing me for nine months
is not a charge for service rendered
that you can demand interest on.
Love is not a savings bond
that you can cash out for currency
concurrently
then purpose me
just to cover your debt.

I'm not finished yet.

Over time,
you've run over mine
so I'm over time
that just might run out.

Blame what you chose to hear;
not what was said.
You can close your ears
and even turn your head from the wall
but the ink is bare
because blood is there
and every tear you spare
will never wash it out.
The bile you'd spew
has poisoned you.
No fortune to
one wishing to ruin another.

This is not tradition.
Don't talk. Just listen.
It's not about your vision.
This is about my life.
You still have a place there
but you sought to displace care
so you'd risk falling from grace where
you could just blame it on my wife.

Just you or nothing
as if just you was something
to sustain what I deserved.
Be a man without the nerve
or the balls
or the spine
to leave behind a construct much maligned
you would dress as structure to the blind
that knew nothing beyond those blinds.
That house was no home
so I left it behind.
It was time to go

so no.

Not looking for it close up.
Not missing it from far sight.
That dream died,
was sold
and closed up.
A broken image of the battle
that I never wanted to fight.

Months gone
and I get the texts
or the phone calls.
You don't mean to vex.
You don't aim to disturb.
You don't want to work on my nerves.
You just love me
and miss me.
and think about me
every day. 

....................what do you want me to say?

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz