"F.M.L."

"F.M.L."

The road less traveled
with our roles mishandled
where potholes dismantle
things we shouldn't look to build...
Holes we've created
never filled past the extent.
Intent burns quicker than desire
and it hurts to feel the fire.
Discomfort.
This warmth between us.
Knowing how much we need us
whilst hoping the world can't see us.
Love this strong between us  
is the puzzle that stumped the genius.

We are Rubix and Crucifix.

For you my feelings sacrificial
while better served in dismissal.
I shouldn't need you to stay.
Fought through things to say
to push away
but somewhere inside,
I haven't matched six sides yet.
You take me high
yet 
I've grown sick from this.

If you knew of my regrets,
you'd stop asking if I'm okay
and let me just exist.

This too must cease
but we don't desist
and we draw closer to death
with every breath pondered.
Wandered through possibility
trying to justify our ability
to coexist with some stability
but we are cylinder and square peg.
Watched my heart beg
beyond my judgmental mind.
Rationale rationed well
enough for me to hide behind
the darkest part of a truth
that most would call a lie.
I look to text you "Hi"
and you won't say "Goodbye."
Over the phone:" Are you alone?"
and I'm not asking why.
We find a zone then you go home
and I just want to die
but I
much like you
stretched this heart in two places.
Knots much larger than shoelaces
as we make faces that subdue
the curiosity they drew.
I hide from her.
He's fine with you.

What new have we discovered?

These thoughts,
they hover over me so thick
and intimate
and personal.
Pictured things I've hoped to know
past the passion of imagination.
Calling you my fixation.
Broiling with indignation
when he pulls you away from me.
Love of yours he takes from me.
He takes for free
something so priceless.
Full of envy and I don't like this.
Rush of lust and I can't fight this.
Not much longer.
Something stronger must become my distraction.
Reactions once easily concealed
are revealed with much more frequency.
You cross my mind frequently
and I know my place in yours.

Several scores of emotions
that we shouldn't have to deal with
rise on purpose
with great purpose
to the surface and I feel it
and I'm filled with so much of you.
There is just so much of you.
Too much of you to keep at bay.
Can't get a way
to get away
so you get to stay
and what I try to say
isn't what I really want to.
I really want you.
I need you bad.
Another dose of what I never had
in the first place.
That first taste of the sweetest bitter.
Eyes well from the endless river.
Bit my lip just to stave the quiver
of speaking promises that I can't deliver
and I'm sorry
and it's all me
and it's us too.
I wish it was all you
and we both know
how far this goes
but please,
don't go.

Just don't.
No.....don't. 

No.

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz

~ Forks. Maps. Locations. ~