Alone In The Fog

 Alone In The Fog

I did good,

didn't I?

Was I better this time

than the last..........

......memory?

Person who did this for you?

My last mistake?

Was I not supposed to ask?

Was that too much?

Is my inquiring about mistakes

a mistake in itself?

I'm not tripping.

I promise.

I'd just like to know,

you know?

Do you?

What'd I do wrong?

Nothing? Really?

Really.

That's still something.

Quit preaching to me about insecurity.

I'm not trying to preserve my purity.

I know no one is perfect

but am I that far off?

See,

I'm all about loss prevention.

More ambition

than a mission, per se

so why are you so dismissive?

Does this even matter to you?

Do I?

I................shouldn't have said that.

I knew better than that.

I'm not mad.

I promise.

I just need honesty.

I want you to be up front.

Maybe even a little blunt.

I can handle that.

I can take it........

..........I think........

What was that?

That wasn't funny.

Take it back.

Why even say something like that?!?!

DON'T TELL ME HOW TO REACT.

You're pissing me off

so just fall back......

........wait. Don't leave me.

You need me.

Well really,

I need you to need me.

Dependency so alien

but not at all foreign.

This preemptive prison cell surrounds us

and I act like I've lost the key.

I fling falsehoods with abandon

but act like you've lied to me.

I made the call to build this wall

and scream at you when it's too tall.

I stand at bay from what you say

but won't dare let you move away.

I shrink and hide.

I guard my pride.

I won't even let you talk.

The words I say

push you away

yet I'm nervous when you walk.

Don't leave me.

You know you need me.

I mean......I need you to.

I need you, too.

I need.........

I need you to navigate

but let me be the magistrate.

You can lead and direct

so long as it is circumspect.

Just give me my validation.

We can call that maturation.

I need to be 

Placated and pacified

and no:

you can't ask me why.

I don't want to talk anymore.

Not today.

I'm not alright.

I promise.

I am not okay.

Just promise me

that you'll stay anyway.

Okay?

Devin Joseph Metz

6.17.21