"Left, Too"

"Left, Too" 

I am not what you thought you'd see.
Searched in your selected light.
Hidden better than in darkness.
The hardships you've undermined.
Glimpses in passing time.
Squint and you still won't find
an ounce of me
that you'll manipulate
anymore.
Planned for me
but acted late.
Stockpiled decree to saturate
but did not suspect.
Did not expect
that I'd be one to elevate.
My ascension to the zenith
you'd demean with foreboding.
Distrustful means
that are the steam
I've gathered to roll over.
As it happens,
I should flatten you
who've fattened yourself well
from my nightmares.
From my hell.
Thought you'd know well
not to sow your spells
over the same wells
you would draw from in thirst.

Me first.

That was the fear,
right?
Conjure my tears,
right?
In confidence you'd spare nights
to make my competence a near sight
and a far fetched reality.

No parity.
Just limitation.
Deliberate debilitating prescribed
so that I would subscribe
subservient
but never subsumed.
Present in the room
but blocks away from the table.

I am unstable.

Not far behind
the shattered mind.
Not well in front
of thoughts as blunt
as the ones you fear I'd act upon.
We haven't gone the distance
yet
but don't fret.
You'll see me coming
and will try to get away
but there's the floor.
Crawl some more.
Hope and pray
that I delay.
Put my assured nature in sway.
Had me question what things to say
when my heart knew that to break away
meant I should act as I may;
Not how you wanted.
The tutor is now the taunted:
haunted
by that which you've flaunted
all for naught
and before it ends,
I'll have you sprawl
and crawl
again

just like I had to.

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz