"The Extent"

"The Extent" 

Ms. Giving,
I miss giving you
reasons to smile
all while
chasing previous misgivings
outside of our extending away;
especially to say
that keeping them at bay
is a price I'd surely pay
to keep that smile.
That grin.
That curve above your chin,
Ms. Giving
that rests firm
between turns
involving shots of gin
and those backshots
again
and
again.
How I've missed the way we'd sin,
Ms. Giving
but misgiving made the path
murky.
Dank.
Dreary.
Can you hear me,
Ms. Giving?
I pray that the attention
I desire from you
is finally steeped in reciprocity.
So much you are owed
from me.
Less to see
for so much to say
until "anyway"
abruptly ends the debate.
Ms. Giving,
even amid the swell of misgiving,
you would always shoot straight.
I
hope
that I'm not too late.
I'd hazard the inquiry
but I admittedly fear what those
implied misgivings
will offer in response to me.
I see,
Ms. Giving
and always have;
often without base realization
of course
unfortunately
which I'm sure
without doubt
has only served to feed your misgivings.
Ms. Giving:
Martyr as one might presume
that I now lay beside in gloom
doomed by my once
fixable shortcomings
less likely to exhume
in a loving
that was less routine,
far frequent
and passionately inconsistent.
Inconsolable as I am
in lieu of inconsiderate musing.
Ms. Giving gave it all
and the walls contracted
and expanded simultaneously:
The former from the pressure.
The latter from complacency.
Latent we,
Ms. Giving:
Ye,
the she
that ignored the line
for the long term
and
Me,
the he
that created cause for concern
but couldn't possibly be less involved.
There's nothing to absolve,
Ms. Giving.
No way to wash away
The years unclear
or the tears I now fear
in the face of the misgivings
attached therein
but should you let me back in,
Ms. Giving,
this promise procured
would be validated.
Assured.
Made pure
enough to rouse
those misgivings provoking
and gather each by the throat
to never be spoken
or pondered
again.
Ms. Giving,
wit's end will not close this story.
Not this chapter.
Not here, there
or after
because you,
Ms. Giving
are the surface and the rafters.
Tears of joy. Infectious laughter.
The hardest love. Such gentle care.
Summer warmth. Winter air.
All the heart could hope to share
that understanding could never conceive,
premonition wouldn't believe
and ambition alone could never achieve.
Ms. Giving
just giving
aside from the advising and admonition.
An extension of the unconventional.
Somewhat trivial.
Unconditional means
yet
in the face of misgivings
meant to glean some reason to demean
you still mean to love

me.

Me.

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz