"What Remains"

"What Remains"

Remnants rarely wash away
time that we have tossed away
like fray against gutters
clogged and cluttered
barely able to muster sufficient drain
so that the stains at least would rinse
whilst the pain remains
ever so plain.

Uncommon in moment
yet common enough
to be snuffed from headlines.
There is a deadline for breaking news
but no limit on the view from a block away
where you were.
There you lay.
Helpless.
Helped less by this world
and the decisions you've made in it
expedited by thoughts of you
often diminished
until magnified in circumstantial retrospect.

Guilt has reminded me
how routinely we respect the dead
and think nothing of the living.
We disregard the giving
and downplay kind gestures
but are never far from lecture
when life pulls you back into the mud.

Our hands are much dirtier
than that of yours, brother.
I promise you that much.

To touch your shoulder
or bring you in after handshakes
for a hug and a kind word
I've unfortunately heard and observed
more than initiated.
What I have left of my own regret
will not grace stanza
or the podium facing the congregation.
Our conversations will not carry
past the casket.
Thoughts have outlasted
any words I would think to say anyway.

When life exits,
entering in squalls
are the calls from distant contacts
looking for contact
like an abrupt breach in contract
where the clause clearly states
that they can only sedate their guilt
with lies they've built
stitched together with stories
of how much you've meant to them

but until they can say your name,
you're "Him."

What you mean to what is heard
in contrived words won't matter.
Makeshift remorse will run its course
and contrite times will shatter
and be swept away the next day

but on this day,

I don't want to stall
or recall
or remember
what I'll never forget.
Just promise those who loved you most
that you left with no regret
because even if you did,
know that we're not done with you yet

and we never will be.

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz

In Everlasting Memory of Gerard Howard.

Rest Well.

I Hope That You Have Found Every Measure Of Peace In The Next Life That You Couldn't Find In This Life.