"Ascension: My Ambition"

"Ascension: My Ambition"


I ascend this flight of stairs
in hopes of what may come after;
but I occasionally stumble;
tumbling to the sound of laughter.
They say "A wise man would stay down.
Sit on the steps. Just lay down.
What you search for won't be found.
A lowly pauper can't chase the crown."


I truly detest such statements.
They aren't aware of my intent;
but seek to determine my social placement.
I guess their mentality is of brief extent.
If you've never removed your mask,
don't offer your point of view;
and unless I've outlined my tasks,
don't concern yourself with what I do.


Herein lies a man
with no backup plan,
no contingency clause,
and no controller to pause.


Standing here is a man
completely capable of flaw.
Some of which can't be absolved
because he remembers all that he saw.


In front of you is a man
still learning how life works.
The values aren't always great;
but he knows what life is worth.
His ambition towards his work
corresponds to how much he cares.
He has no lapse in confidence
and he is always self aware.
He can recognize his limits;
but he knows better than to set them.
He's willing to view the distorted image.
That may be why he never forgets them.


This is me.
That's all there is to see.
I'm not a legend or enigma.
Not a God or deity.
I'm just a man in training;
learning as I move along.
Time keeps moving and churning.
I just pace myself and stay strong.


I've no storybook life.
I just claim what I'm given.
I'm that big headed boy
raised by a family of women.
"Daddy wasn't there;"
but that's of little importance.
My Grandmother imparted the utmost care
and made sure that all took notice.
My Mother means the world to me.
She is my closest friend.
She helped me push when I couldn't see
and taught me how to reach till the end.
If ever there were polar opposites,
it would be my sister and brother.
Their arguments are relentless;
but I know they love each other.
My cousin was there for me
every time my heart was shattered.
Although it sometimes annoys me,
I understand why he delves in my matters.
I shared this heart with three
before the age of 24.
Maybe the third wasn't a charm;
but I have faith in number four.
Literature is my passion.
It's my first and true love.
It never pushes me away.
It would rather soothe than shove.


There isn't much left to say;
at least not much that deserves retention.
I'll climb these stairs every day
because there's purpose in my ascension. 


Written By: Devin Joseph Metz

"(Rebel) {Radical} [Renegade]"

"(Rebel) {Radical} [Renegade]"


What lies under this hood
is a rebel.


That's what they call me, at least.
They call me "borderline ghastly,"
they say I'm nasty,
and claim that I do deals with the devil.
They say I'm sporadic.
They swear that I'm frantic;
but I hardly ever act out;
so I don't know why they see panic.


Maybe I am a little manic.
I'm sure to be unstable.
I'm the one that's labeled
for laying in his grave
instead of his cradle.
I misconstrue short stories
and lay ridicule to fables.
Lay me on this table
and cut me open 
if you don't think I'm able.


Tell me what you see.
Look deep inside of me
and unleash that mad man
that you always said I would be.


What lies beneath this cloak
is a radical.


I'm an avid extremist.
I'm far from placid.
My mind pushes past it's apex;
so my thoughts are never flaccid.
Average thoughts are soft serve.
Mine resemble dripping acid:
It bores through and eats away
at all who aren't willing to pass it.
Peculiar things catch my ire
when I sit here at my spire
like how flaming ice
can feel like frozen fire.


I have unorthodox daydreams.
I never question what they mean.
It would appear, or so it seems
that I recall what I haven't seen.
It makes no sense.
It holds no scheme;
but it keeps me going.
It's the post on which I lean.


Maybe I'm off my rocker.
I may appear a little improper;
but I heard insanity was free;
so I stuffed my mental locker.
Does that come as a shocker
or is it clever and bold
for me to be an open book
full of stories that may never be told?


What rests within this shroud
is a renegade.


Conductive class.
Sinister grade
of a destructive past:
Militant made.
Try to palate the contents of my glass.
Go ahead. Drink the lemonade.
Consume my elixir whole
and you'll see how quickly feelings fade.


I'm bright enough to blind;
but I bask in a darker shade.
I left the world behind;
wearing the mask that my shadows made.
I wrap myself within these garbs
that have now become standard issue.
The wiles of friendship are vile.
Don't expect me to say "I miss you."
I turned away from love that day.
I've lost the desire to kiss you.
Just stay at bay. Don't come my way
or I will surely dismiss you.


Deep inside
lies the underline:
Terms that can't be defined.
I am the new design.
You'll never see into my eyes.
We can stand face to face;
but your deducing won't recover
what has already been displaced.


I really don't care if I'm unleveled.
I only seek my sabbatical
in route to where I've often laid;


so label me a rebel.


Call me a radical.


View me as a renegade.


Written By: Devin Joseph Metz

"If I Had My Way"

"If I Had My Way"


If I had my way....


Your only memory of yesterday
would be the loving words we say
that quell the fire of "back when;"
gently rinsing it all away.


If I had my way....


Our profound, perfectly explicit wishes
would be smeared against walls
like mist against shower stalls.
Moans would travel down halls.
Unsuspecting ears would hear your calls:
"Baby, stand tall.
Hold me up. Don't let me fall.
Fill me up. Let my thoughts crawl."


If I had my way....


What we strive for
and would surely die for
would be all that we'd have in store.
I would close unnecessary doors
so that I could give you more.
We would lay at the ocean floor;
drowning in our private aspirations
and then I'd invite you to shore.


If I had my way....


I would cater to your wonder.
I would eviscerate your plight
and eradicate your blunder.
I would be your nightmare hunter.
You would treat your past tense
like most treat their common sense:
Cast them among the realm of the forgotten.
They're just links on an old, rusty fence.


If I had my way....


Distance would feel like an option
and not like a death sentence.
Our tattered hearts wouldn't need adoption
and our flaws wouldn't need repentance.


If I had my way....


Every day would impart a new epiphany:
Featuring thoughts of you,
Thoughts of me,
Thoughts of we.
Our foundation would be serenity.
Our walls would be lined with tranquility.
We would be sheltered by divinity;
Basking in this eclectic trinity.


Yes.


If I had my way....


I would stay another night.
I would delay my flight.


If I had my way....


I would stay seven extra days
after the extent of forever,
and the duration of eternity.
You would always be with me. <3


Written By: Devin Joseph Metz

"Feel Me: Four Dimensions"

"Feel Me: Four Dimensions"


I want you to feel me.


You don't have to subscribe.
You just have to understand.
Don't act out solely on pride;
always so quick to reprimand.
Learn the route before you drive.
Adhere to purpose and plans;
because a concentrated ride
keeps a destination at hand.
Forget what they say.
Put the rumors to bed.
Gossip is a malignant tumor;
claiming host to your head.
Learn to filter what is said.
Carefully process what you're fed;
because words are quite fragile
like candlelight to the thread.
Walk the roads seldom traveled.
Watch the land that you tread.
The enlightened path may be narrow;
but why choose darkness instead?


I need you to feel me.


This is the real me.
I know that I've lied
no matter how hard you've tried
and now our love won't survive.
It's not an issue of pride.
I just couldn't decide.
I see the tears in your eyes;
but I just can't let it die.
I honestly can't explain why
I never could say goodbye.
I hear your pain in each sigh.
I hate that I make you cry;
But I can't seem to abstain.
I just won't let it subside
so I bring her up again
although it hurts you inside.
It truly drives me insane
to watch you take this in stride.
You say there's something to gain.
I just want a place to hide.


Baby...come here...feel me.


You look so down and depressed.
Close the book. Come to bed.
You're so flustered and stressed.
Let me study you instead.
I know that some of life's tests
invoke the tears that you shed;
so I just want you to relax.
Just lay back. Rest your head.
I must say that I confess
that I've been ever so obsessed:
Waiting in angst for this body
that I've been longing to caress.
I'm sure that you'll appreciate
once I start to alleviate;
allowing you to deviate
so I can begin to liberate.
Let sharp breaths levitate
as words break and come late.
I want your mind state
to match your heart rate:
Fluttering. Sputtering.
Not obtuse. Just loose. My free soul:
struggling and stuttering;
sporadically spiraling out of control.
Forget rules and roles.
Do away with standard issue.
I get closer to my goal
with every single place that I kiss you.
Look me square in the eyes
whilst you generously gyrate.
Feel the friction in your thighs
as you slowly start to vibrate.
You'll relinquish every thought
that sought to claim retention;
removing yourself from what is wrought
while slowly releasing all tension
and when the air gets thin
as it gets difficult to breathe,
I'll reach your soul from deep within
until I know that you're relieved.
I take pride in being your reprieve.
I'm always eager to please you.
I know that you must leave;
but come back soon. I need you.


You say you do; but you don't feel me.


I know that you're aware;
but I want to know you care.
Your words lack validation.
I need you to be there...
...at least I used to...
...Your son outgrew you.
It was hard when I was younger;
But now, it's like I never knew you.
I barely see you
and rarely need to;
so I've gotten to the point
where I surely don't need you.
Suffice it to say,
it should probably stay this way.
We've had our moments and days;'
but far too often, you've been at bay.
Distance forced me to break away.
Time taught me how to detach.
You never quit. You loved to play
and now our leaks can't be patched.
I think back to when I wanted you:
My cousins had a father, too.
Uncle treated me the same;
but I couldn't hide the pain.
Imagine how bad my heart hurts;
but it won't reach the rest of me.
You weren't there to see my worst;
so you don't deserve the best of me.


Don't display your skills to me.
God knows what you will be.


These bouts of secrecy
will surely kill what's left of we.


Life tries it's best to make you dull;
but trust me, baby: You thrill me.


Even when forced to stand still,
I'm further than your will can see.


I just want you to feel me.


Do you feel me?


Written by: Devin Joseph Metz