I've always harbored some concern
for those relationships
that I've either squandered surely
or never really kept up with.
Not interactions merely focused
on how we may look as a couple
but more so matters of family
where the emotions double
and spill over
and keel over in awkwardness.
Used to say I lacked the time
trying to avoid all of it.
Especially when addressing my Father
because for years
amid the tears,
I swore I had no father.
Twenty-seven is an extremely long time
to come and go before I know
If we would run out of time.
I'm glad we got that rectified.
Still a work in progress
but the process feels
a lot less strained now.
Those outside my means
say that they know how
my Sister feels.
How much it kills
to hear from me less now.
On the contrary of this,
they can miss me with the lectures
because when she and I are concerned,
they aren't the fabric or the texture
and can't touch either without consent.
My little lady.
That's my baby
even when she sends
her Mother into frenzy.
Still learning this life she's facing
but even that requires pacing
while tasting what it has to offer.
My Brother has a daughter.
She's almost three.
The closest thing next to my siblings
that ever clung to me.
I swear:
I caught a glimpse of Heaven
when she first said:
"Uncle Devin."
Tears in her eyes
I wish were mine
when she was chastised.
I guess that's what my Wife means
when she says
I get those "Glass Eyes."
She notes the glimmer
or the shimmer...
...whatever she calls it
whenever I embrace a baby.
I've always pondered two
or even three.
Maybe.
I pray that through my Niece
my Brother would learn
to pay attention
to what truly deserves his time
and earn a greater retention
of responsibility and priority.
Used to look up to my Mother
and wonder how she did it all.
Sure, there was help
and always someone she could call.
I'm forever grateful
but admittedly,
we've become strained.
In my current position
I can't understand her pain.
No longer her child
but always her son.
She would never spare the chance
to tell me that I'm the one.
Applied pressure
that I've learned to embrace
but nowadays, the anger mingles
with the tears on her face.
Self-sufficient,
on my own,
not a castle
nor a throne,
building new life with my spouse,
proud young owners of a house
so we don't get to talk as much.
Promised we haven't lost touch.
She is still my Mother.
Sister laments with her
but Brother understands.
He himself still a young man
trying to start his own family.
Family.....
...............
....the ties that connect us
are never severed.
We just place far too much
on the time and effort
when things don't go our way
or we go two or three days
without hearing from each other.
Sometimes, I wish there were other
ways to exploit what is necessary
without having to choose between
the people that we hold dear;
leaving the other feeling like an adversary.
Not contrary for the sake
of choosing when I'll awake.
Not so deep in my affairs
that I don't want to be there.
This is personal at best.
At my worst, it's like a test
that I never stand to pass.
Just know that my love will last.
Never forget that.
~ Society Of Poets ~
~ 30 ~
Written By: Devin Joseph Metz
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