"Asphyxia"

"Asphyxia" 

Lead with the lie
with
the tears that you've cried
with
eyes puffy and dried
with
the comfort you need
with
these colors that bleed. 

Air I swear I can't breathe. 

Left me there and I leave.
Left me spinning.
I heave
and I'm dizzy.
I'm sickly
but call me and I'm busy. 

I promise no knowledge. 

Against all insistence,
you fed your persistence
and led the resistance.
You fought me relentless 

only to fling your armor
far across the harbor.
Dead weight under water.
Depth the only charmer 

but I want to breathe. 

Surpassed the submerged
with no urge to survive.
Preserved in the dirge
of what never could thrive. 

Not alive.
Not to rive and wallow.
Nothing there to swallow
when at best it was hollow. 

Against my advisement,
you sever the ties with
the clouds in your eyes
with
decisions that bind
with
precision and time
with
no fear that you'll find 

that which you support knowingly. 

Knowing me won't make it better
and showing me may take forever
when I can't see.

See:

Everything is red
from everything we've said
now everything is dead
yet I drown above the ocean. 

Emotions ever present.
The refreshing, effervescent
expectations smell so stale.
Long terms of short scale
inhaled and regurgitated.
Heard we made it.
We are facade.
Nervous ways that we stave the rod.
The careful call of calamity.
This endless cycle a tragedy.
Drag for me and I keep the dirt
and when trading places, I keep the hurt 

and we love to flirt
with
those imperfections
but
shine the light
and
we shun reflection.
Swift dereliction.
Some sacrifice.
Took in the poison.
It smells so nice
and I start to choke.
Can't feel the clouds.
Can't see the smoke.
Can't create logic.
Far out of socket.
So out of pocket.
Swollen and toxic. 

I......................
....... I can't breathe. 

Maintain verse.
These chains around my trachea.
You say
"If pain hurts,
then why smile when you're spanking her?"
I protest.
You throw tests and tighten rope.
You know best.
I show less
than those provoked.
You will see me fluctuate in colors
before you understand
that you need not suspend and hover
to gain the upper hand.
Other than,
otherwise
and another way,
you advise what you despise
then the look the other way

but I know the truth:
whether judged as saint or sinner,
time you've concealed will soon reveal
that your air is getting thinner........ 

Written By: Devin Joseph Metz