Us in our current state.... ...... too late. Very little about us is sufficient in this setting. I tire from the unrelenting: repenting after repeated trips through the black water we've waded in. Dark matter followed by nervous chatter barely quelling a flame that shouldn't burn.
So turn away from me. Please. I don't trust myself. I need your help.
Amnesia hoped for to no avail. Desperate ambition so frail. Pale the pigment of dashed will. There was once thrill in hiding; presiding over each other in conceal. Skin worn this thin reveals to the glancing what we shouldn't feel so we drape ourselves in torn restraint. The discomfort a necessary accessory. Despondent accompaniment of the essential.
Even as we've laid here bare, my perdition is hanging over there.
Recalling days when we treated fear like foreplay before the blind. The kind of mockery none are proud of. Love harder to find with garments removed. Proven true in how I still look at you. Would deny myself before letting you see these eyes so dry from evaporated lies that I still cannot rinse clean.
Inadequate that we be seen together. Weather too perfect. The birds have flown on for the evening. No torrent for purposeful distortion. A small portion of time granted that should have been recanted for the sake of those involved.
We are what cannot be resolved. We prod. We poke. I provoke. You dishevel. We choke. and regret. and repent. and resent ourselves.
They sit on shelves like ornaments for celebratory means. Still their disposition disposable for one's dangerously wavering countenance. Compliments collected in fashion whilst working to save face. I now grace this world with a shroud. Once proud of what the sun illuminates, I now await the darkness I wasn't fond of. Found love and confused it. Used it to an obscene degree.
I can barely see and breathe but this cloak you cannot read. Restoration crushed like seeds under feet tangled in weeds. Preservation of our leads. Blind before me yet you see
The fear is out. That means the ear is out of frequency. Public indecency in the form of a profitable norm that we have yet to recognize and I've no reason to sympathize with the often uninformed. This ignorance is uniform. You don't need case in point. You are the bullet point, the frame of reference and the evidence to support it.
Recall when anthrax was purported: Still couldn't pay the taxes and the stamps still aren't free. That envelope was for me but you opened it anyway. Threw mayhem into the fray so the government had to say it was an epidemic manufactured under the backers of biochemical warfare. There's always war somewhere. The canisters and casings in large amounts are only days away from the bank account.
Fear is profit for malevolent means. Dreams become nightmares. Despair much more tangible than the hope we cast aside thoughtlessly. A world of fortune found in the notion that we can't survive the scare or we can't go anywhere for sake of being quarantined: taped off like a new crime scene and it will be the headline. There must be a deadline for dishing out decrepit dissemination. They claim to inform the nation. They want to "keep us in the know" while they show those tears instead of saying show no fear and be intelligent about it all.
Now we sprawl and crawl and run away and say "GET AWAY" to those just as misinformed as we: lack luster personalities who could care less about your fear or your tears or the outcome. They sneer and watch the crowd run. Did more with proclamations than a burglar with a handgun. They'll claim the truth in a joke just to watch you choke air back, throw on masks, tie your hair back and dust off the safety goggles.
All the while, powers that be toggle between powers that free and messages that enslave the gullible. They know what trends look colorful and make no amends for how the media presents it. Resentment in every social media post about a contaminated commercial flight followed soon thereafter by fright or anger. The newsroom your manger complete with a trademark social networking pacifier. Proud supplier of mass hysteria.
An area reserved for research has become bogged down in t-shirts and collectibles and banners and a walk to cure breast cancer and an ALS donation is an ice bucket demonstration. How well tracked are all the proceeds?
I'm done with tact so let me proceed:
Gimmicks noosed around your neck when you could just cut the check. Controversial yearly omen and you know nothing of Susan G. Komen. Years spent on research and development and we've yet to reach a settlement concerning a sufficient timetable. When will the willing become the able?
Locked away one day will be the remote controller strategically set to Ebola along with Anthrax and other shock value relics like venereal strains reportedly discovered in a land where mothers cling to the corpses of their fallen and we're all in to find a cure in countries where the water isn't pure.
I speak not from the realm of conspiracy but rather from the angry hearts and minds of those of us who will not accept the norms. Don't give me medicine until it harms and must undergo a massive recall.
We Call You Out NOW.
We are not encouraged by your medical trials. Our loved ones are out on a fringe. Someone may fly off the hinge after a binge on your fear filled vials
Just right. Just ripe for the picking. The hands move so slow that I can feel every tick tock. Thoughts rock back and forth between the last and the next embrace in a time frame. A sort of mind game. An office space chess board and I'll move the pawns if you tell the rooks to back off. I'm back off and anticipating. Suspense truly deflating but I've lost no portion of interest. After awhile, you'll walk by and hopefully say "Hi" and I'll have a response for once better than this cheesy grin and a stare that tells of sins I'd commit with you in public settings. Momentarily forgetting that communication is a two person endeavor. Mixed well within the trances of clever advances rarely noticed by those around us, chance appears as if to taunt us; flaunting shamelessly when we're alone, deliberately dangling the bone before you as if surrender is incentive.
As you wish.
Fish for compliments. Acknowledgement. Accomplishment of the biased. Your favor my ace in the hole. Some control is in order. Wouldn't dare defile the borders unless you cut the ribbon first. No concern for the worst when given the best chance to quench our thirst. Endless invitations. Situations created against means of convenience. Consistent yet overt so I always wonder who's seeing this. All in for the plans. I don't need the risk but we want this moment. Said I won't be sorry. I won't need any atonement. Just the will to want it more. Occurrences only explored in my mind until now. So the plot thickens like this bulge when you bend over. After this is over, we'll have thoughts to ponder during business hours and nights barely sober.
As you were.
My oft revisited memory. Obscenities once imaginative retain seclusion but have become tangible. Fanciful occurrences I've thought of in detail adorned with deep yells and fulfilling sighs.......... now completely before my eyes. Well worth the effort. Weathered the pressure and held onto mystery tightly. This cover is slightly blown gently to the edges of discovery. Concern yourself not with recovery but rather on how long. How long will it take for us to replace this encounter with the next. Passers-by in busy hallways. Days trickle from the calendar slower than your remnants did before my unruly consumption. The challenge is not in their assumption but rather in their inability to uncover. Lovers of the danger that begets perceived strangers given very little means but still able to wipe the slate clean. I honestly don't care about who else has gone this far. For what we do, I'll receive you....
